Assertiveness principles for the multipotentialites and scanners

What do you do when you are bombarded with tasks that are unappealing, not interesting?

As a multipotentialite you are a passionate person, meaning you care about the work that you do. Spending countless hours on tasks that are like a Dyson vacuum cleaner sucking away at your soul is not worth your time. You’ve got to be more assertive.

Assertiveness is something that our mentors, coaches, managers and leaders all talk about. The word comes up a lot. Occasionally you’ll hear the ex-football-all-american-now-turned-executive talk about being aggressive.

We’re not looking to run over people. We want to be assertive and fully express our needs. There are a few core principles to follow when practicing your assertiveness.

Assertiveness Principle #1

Every person has the right to express and pursue the fulfillment of his/her needs. It does not mean that their needs have to be met. At the very least there should be the respect and openness to acknowledge the needs of everyone. We have a right to have our needs heard. Being assertive ensures that you express your needs in a way that is non-aggressive, that does not hurt others.

Assertiveness Principle #2

Assertiveness is all about finding balance, discovering your “sweet spot” in communication. Getting what you need means that you cannot be a pushover. You’re not the whimpering little puppy that can be forced into submission by the big dog.

You’re also not trying to be the big dog that is barking out in way that makes people feel like they might get into a physical confrontation with you.¬†Finding the balance between passive and aggressive communication is not easy. It takes learning, practice and reflection.

There is a post on lifehack.org with some practical tips that you could try today. You could also work with me to get to your place of clarity and balance.

Assertiveness Principle #3

Assertiveness focuses on behavior, how that behavior affects you and what change is requested. It is never abusive or insulting. Assertive communication maintains a safe pool of communication, as described in the book crucial conversation.

This usually includes some formula or conversation pattern that:

  • Identifies the specific behavior
  • Expresses how that affects you
  • Requests a change in behavior

Your Turn

Do you have an assertive communication formula that you like to use?

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